Asking for a friend, because I’m a 13 yr old girl edition:
- How long is “too long” to go without kissing someone?
- Would you ever tell a guy that you haven’t been with (including kissing) someone in two years?
- Why don’t people understand that “my friend” doesn’t want to just go to a bar, meet a guy and hook up?
- I can’t even get a Tinder date.
- I mean “my friend”……but they aren’t actually trying, either, so….
Today in: Congratulations You’re Still Single, Try This Horrible Realization On For Size:
We’re told to be ourselves, to put our best foot forward, but to be ourselves. When it comes to dating, we all at some point put on our best (worst) Carrie Bradshaw foot forward a few times. (Or enter some other elder to you at a certain age female archetype)
Eventually we grow older and more confident in our skin. We don’t want to emulate, what a character did in their dating life, because guess what, THE OUTCOME WILL NOT BE THE SAME. Television relationships are fiction, FICTION.
We have friends who we know have weird “quirks”, strangers we judge asking, “How are they in a relationship.?”. But when it comes to ourselves, if we are putting ourselves out there, and trying to put our best self out there, why would we still be single?
The older I get, the more comfortable and confident I am becoming in my skin. The more I feel like I am putting my best self out there. Even if it isn’t my best self, I’m definitely being myself. My own unique snowflake or whatever, is being proudly displayed.
I’ve been told by friends (male and female) to not be ” so nerdy” when first meeting a new person. But being “so nerdy” is part of who I am. I like the random trivia I know, I like sharing tid-bit factoids in general conversation.
If I’m not going to be myself, who am I going to be?
When it comes to dating we are told to smile, act polite, let him pay, no go dutch, kiss him on the cheek, let him make the first move, sleep with him if you want to, don’t sleep with him until x numbered dates.
I can’t help but wonder, if I’m being myself, why doesn’t anyone want to date me?
Then I realize, nothing. There is nothing wrong with me.
My light is on, my window is open or however you want to put it. But maybe the problem isn’t “being myself”, maybe the problem is just that I’m still becoming more and more confident with myself, I have high expectations of how I want to be treated in a relationship. These aren’t “problems” they are just part of becoming older and knowing what you want.
I don’t know. I guess this never really went anywhere. But at first I was feeling pretty horrible and all “I’ve been myself for 33 years, and no one wants me.” whine whine, would you like some cheese with that whine.
Now I guess I just feel like, well, summer is almost here. I wonder if I can really pull off that cute crop top look with a messy high bun.